How come obstinate people are convinced God hates them, and so hate God back? How come people with this upside-down perspective strive after things that are impossible to hold on to, such as power, wealth, and moral righteousness? Powerful, self-righteous people think that if they band together they can somehow “overpower” God and Jesus Christ. “God is not in control of the world,” they say. “Jesus Christ has no authority over us.”
But God does hate these people, precisely because they can only receive hate and then hate others in turn. He laughs at them dismissively and simply says, “The only person who is truly powerful, who is truly spiritually wealthy and righteous, is the Person who was crucified on the hill called Golgotha.”
Now, here is the truth: God has said to me, “You are my son.” I feel this is true in my heart, and it says as much in the Book of John where it says, “But to whomever believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become the children of God.”
The man who doesn’t blame other people for what he has become, that is, who doesn’t live his life in an irresponsible way, and who, as a result, is free from hate; but who is overjoyed by the promise that God made, and who always believes, despite how things may seem, that God has kept his promise - this man is like a tree, with its roots satiated, its leaves always green, and, in the spring, its branches full of fruit. He is satisfied, unaffected, and successful. But if a man makes excuses so as to avoid acknowledging his own failings - then the chainsaw will fell him and he’ll be thrown in the wood chipper! God remembers people who live in this responsible way; they are set free by the experience of knowing that, in the mind of God, they live forever. But people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves are forgotten into oblivion.
Oh please, God – there must be some reason You are making me go through all this. At this point, I don’t even know how to explain myself to people, so You are going to have to help me figure out what to say. I’m genuinely trying to become a better person but people who knew me before say I’m just a liar – but they’re the ones who’re lying! I really don’t even think You give a shit, God. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me, but it hurts so much. Why am I so depressed and anxious? Alright, I have to trust You. Somehow You are going to make this okay. At this point, You’re all I’ve got.
